=.=

when you are coming , i walk away.
when you are leaving, i cry silently.

nice date

i think i need to write something after read khim's blog.
ya.i had a date with khim today..
the day that can't be easily to be forgotten and it was very nice and enjoyable.
first shop that we entered is Giordano, khim bought me a blouse that cost only Rm29 as my belated birthday present.
after that we went to Bossini at the same floor, i simply took a shirt that my ex prefer to wear before for khim ,and asked him to try see whether it is good looking in his body as he has been working hard to build his body line recently..
while i was looking for the formal dress for my preparation of U but it was sad that the cutting is quite big for me although i had chosen the smallest one..really kek sim..
khim decided to change his shirt that he wore to the shirt that i just chose for him..
glad to see that he like the shirt i had chose for him^^
pragin is really large for me..i almost can't remember the way but luckily khim was there to directed me the way..
i was attracted by the shop that decorate classically .. i was told that the bags and the dresses are all come from hong kong..and i like them much..but i hate their prices..hehe
so i just gave up buying..
before walked out from that shop, i tried on a dress that khim said that i look pretty enough with that .. and he took a photo with me but we were told not to take a photo with the dress.
hehe..who care..
is that needed for me to buy the dress? No, so i hang back the dress and walked away , said goodbye to the handbag at the same time..
we walked to the komplex TAR to buy singlet , i was so suprise when i saw khim's body line has been changed much...hmm... stronger than looi's..i think..hehe
bla bla bla..
we both were out of money and looked for the BNS to withdraw some money to pay for our dinner..
i brought khim to a restaurant that i discoverd before.
i thought it will be small reastaurant ,but i was wrong..
the restaurant is long and romantic, we were directed to the second floor that we can almost see the whole view of the restaurant.
it is historical ,that's why it was named as The Sire- Museum Restaurant.
it is really a good place for couples' date.
i like the plants that hang on the roof and the floor with the oldies floor boards and contain the traditional of Nyonya.
There is no picture in the menu.. and it seems highclass..and i was worry that Rm100 wasn't enough for us to pay the meal after the foods were ordered..
khim and i had a long chat..(erm..we always have a long chat ,i think)
i told him to bring others girl to here ..as this place really nice for couples..
as i am a ordinary girl, i like ordinary things ,foods and places..hehe
ordinary places and full of natural ..
even the sky juice was mixed with little lime.
taste a bit sour..
i think it is good for digesting..
we were got shock as the rain was raining heavily ..and the car was parked quite far away from the entrance ..
intimately, the waiter brought me to khim's car when his car was arrived with the umbrella.
hmm... quite reasonable for the 10% service tax..haha
khim, actually it is not convincible ..it is just .i treat you as my best friend..and we do know each other much.. it is just impossible for me .............
so stop joking with me ..hehe
thanks friends, for giving a place for me..
you guys do inside my heart..my beloved friends, it can't be replaced ..i will love you all as long as possible..muack..
life doesn't take 2 ,so treasure the moment you do have right now..

the end~

first time

Phew..
Finally, i am home savely..
You won't know exactly how i felt driving without a license and money in a high way that it is quite far away from my home.
And the most important was my car isn't working as well as before.. it can just suddenly shut down in the middle of the road..
Quite nervous with that...
It made me drving under 110km/h in the high way as i was affraid there is police on duty to cheack for the IC and license.
When i was just went through the toll, the car in front of me broke suddenly ..
luckily the break of my car had been serviced before as the function nearly killed itself last year and costed about RM500 to fix it.
My car and i didn't bump into others..and i just quickly drove off..
On my way home, i saw the blue light in front of me keep sparkling .
ya.. that was police's car..
another luckiness... i drove through it..
and now i am home..

maybe i should buy myself a wallet with sharp colour..
so that it can be easily seen in my handbag.
hehe

拿得起，放得下

今天去了机场送天华，这可是我第一次去送到海外升学的朋友。
看到与他一起同行的朋友一一向亲戚朋友相拥时，心里难免有点感触。
尤其是当她与年老的祖父，祖母拥抱时，那场面更是感动了我。
更害怕的是，当自己要走进门卡时和父母道别的情景，毕竟我可是一个比别人还要容易被感动的人。

离开的日子一天天的逼近，
我却没有因为离开而感到有所不舍，
或许从来就没什么自由的自己早已期待那一刻的到来。

朋友们都各奔东西了，
留下来的只是家人与亲戚，
对于他们我有说不清的感情，说不明白的挣扎，
有些时候离开未免不是个让大家互相思念的最好方式。

其实我本来就不是个安分守己的孩子，
更不是个宁愿接受安排的孩子，
不过我可以忍耐去接受其他安排，
只要极限一到，
我就不会停止的奔跑，
对我来说，比起一个简简单单的旅程，
我宁愿选择刺激点的探索式旅程，
所以自己有时难免有些想要一个人的生活的念头，
那可都是为了避免家人担忧的情景出现。

可惜的是，
我的生活里，总是有人为我担忧。

开始无法分辨那些人的担忧是让自己幸福还是让自己痛苦。。
咳。。
所谓的人生不就是要学会如何拿得起，放得下么？

前路

今早答应了妹妹带她去吃麦当劳的早餐，我出力，她请客。
久违的早晨六点的天气让我有种很轻松以及全新的一天。
一路上，只看到两朵被晨阳染红的云，其他的显得灰灰地看不清，看不明。

前几天全全地把自己从新加坡大学的梦想中抽离，
最让我难过让我不舍的，并非是被他们拒绝，
而是舍不得我那群陪伴我陪伴我学习，成长的死党们。
有点害怕哪天我们再次聚会时，自己参与不了他们的话题，
更不习惯在与他们的聚会中，自己变得寡言。
不懂如何形容这有些刺痛的感觉，
总归一句，就是不舍。

反复地劝自己说，
就让这一切经一次的考验，
就让自己去飞一飞，
哪怕是跌倒，
哪怕是撞墙，
至少自己飞过，
至少自己不会后悔。
至少我的日记再也不是空白的页面。

期待升学的心情渐渐地在升温，
既然我走不到之前所选择的路途，
但我也得找到一道可以迈向目的地的道路，
也许我需要的时间比较长，
也许我会比较辛苦，
但我始终相信命运的安排，
是要我学习更多，
就像当初懵懵懂懂踏入日新一样，
让我认识了你们。

Earlier ...

"We have carefully considered your application vis-a-vis applications from all other eligible applicants. Regrettably, however, I have to inform you that your application has not been successful. I hope that you would appreciate the fact that admission to our undergraduate courses is highly selective in view of the large number of applications we receive, and the limited places that we can offer to international students. I appreciate the time and effort you have put in to submit your application and I thank you for your interest in our University. I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you every success in your pursuit for higher education."

Kk

如果我当初的祝福能带给你们幸福，
我想说，
我愿意。
就当作上了学习坚强的一堂课。
可是为何偏偏自己却在知道你们很幸福很甜蜜的那一瞬间我却掉泪了?
是高兴吗？还是为自己现在的状况而悲哀？

你说我是好人，
你说我坚强，
我说你好单纯，
单纯得让我不舍得去伤害，
单纯的让我去祝福你们，
因为这份祝福，
我长大了，
我坚强了。

就怕的就是自己一直记住那些别人说过的，但却只被自己记住的话。
那种孤独感，
很难受。

忽然有点怀念当晚的心痛，
那晚挂上电话后的雨声，
还有我心里的呐喊--“为什么”